Sunday, October 26, 2014

To the "BEST" Yoga Teacher

By now we know a couple things about each other.
But most of what you know about me is what you "see" and "energetic" values.
I think I know you pretty well.
I know what type of woman you like.
You like blondes with shoulder length, straight, hair, who are tall and very thin.
You like a face that looks a little bit plain, the opposite of the women of your nationality.
You are very smart, but you think you have an advantage, because you think you don't give away how smart you are.
In some ways you are pretty exposed.
Your vocal patterns and your tone is affected by the new age community.
When you lead a class you sound like a teacher from the east giving a discourse.
I don't think you could even take on the accent from your youth anymore.
You are kind of like Tom Cruise's megalomaniac character in Vanilla Sky?
I think that's the movie where he plays that character.
You recreated yourself.
You essentially transformed your persona as a result of your childhood wounds.
What you can't change no matter how hard you try is the one thing that truly affects me.
I had a crush on you for a day, but then I really thought about who you are, and I'm a realist.
Besides what you see of me isn't the person I used to be.
I know a lot about you.
You know very little about me.
You think you know a fair amount from what you found online, but that's tempered.
I guess you know enough to know I got damaged, but you don't know why.
Every time I go and sit in your class I learn more about you, because you talk to us, but we can't talk to you.
I've been formulating a response, here, where I know you'll find it.
If you feel like you're losing your mind, actually it's the reverse.
Now you know I'm not who you thought I was.
I don't think I want you to get to know me.
It doesn't really matter if I used to be your type, because I'm not anymore, and I don't want to be.
What I wanted from you, I already got.
You got involved, because your antennae picked up on something that resonated with you.
Now you're a part of it.
And you can't go back.
I was grateful and scared of what would happen in the beginning.
But hey you're misaligned.
What else would I like to say to you, while I have the chance?
What happened to me?
I went up against an emissary of death and I died over and over again.
Your comments about breathing in a breathing exercise don't apply to me, because each breathe feels unnatural.
My lungs and my heart are on timers.
You're going to die too, but you'll come back and live longer.
You don't have a choice.
What I want from you is for you to not underestimate me or yourself.
I'm trying to fit in here, but I don't belong to this crowd.
I come to practice in your class and every time I feel like a stranger in my heart.
My heart resides somewhere else.
So, I'll let you go, I know you're busy.
Thank you for your help.

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