Friday, July 10, 2015

Hot Violet Light

I haven't been taken...yet...and I never hide
I've been shown corridors to unsteady, unsafe places and my blind spots hit me in the side
But I shook my head and covered my eyes when I deemed it right
I stood up and I walked away into the hot violet light

Instead of drowning the way I felt I could, my lungs filled with sweet salt water
And I bought a small shirt for my future daughter
I've seen her in the pet store and heard her laugh
At some preposterous, silly gaff

I don't know if I will marry, or later if it will break me down
I do feel the edge of sanity sharp across my tongue and thick about my gown
To be young and running, fleet and fair
I came across this expanse wanting pure, fresh air

My skull is hardening as I age
I peel back another sticky page
If I falter it's because I know the stakes
And if I pause it doesn't always mean I put on the brakes

I'm squandering the time I have to tell you what I do
I make sinister thoughts passages to higher ladders to you
I break what isn't broken if it has a sick seed inside
And I make myself a token of love and lousy lust beyond the divide

Grope me up and feel my pain
Cut me down and it will rain
Hold me under the soft summer sun
Because when I run I run and run

I drink alien tonic the color of reptilian blood
I curse the lies I see seeping like a flood
I wander inside of myself and when I step outside I find the counterpart I won
I am early, I am late, I am the precursor to your pun

If the radical elements combined at once
I will jump to attention just like a dunce
If I released the burden too soon I felt it fall back on my joints, my tender swollen reddish points
To be given the chance again and again and to find it barely, hardly anoints

Is like the bread I found in the pan
The bread that was given to me by a clever man
Sop the dark oil up
And push it into the soft pink warm cup

Standard greeting for him or her
Engineered brilliance for the gold one to confer
Lines crossing my heart on the electric current
The shocking truth is one deterrent

In the hot violent violet light
The realizations come fully formed and bright
Toady recognition in full flight
I lost once but now I'm too tight

To be confused is obstreperous and feels banal
But in that mix there's a mighty mighty howl
If I ponder the words too much I might falter
If I break I could permanently wear a halter

Tomorrow he will know something he thought he knew today
But today there was no way, there was no way
Once he knows what I think I know now
He will turn in a circle and gently sit down and bow

The only reason I was saved tonight from another kick in the face
Was I reclined and I stuttered in the dynamic race
However you watch me like a man with no dice
My mother worries I've given without getting the rice

In truth the worship I experienced from you was so steadfast and hard
That I have certainty in my heart, though not on my lips, of that card
If I ever squander you please let me go
You deserve what you came for, you deserve to loudly crow

I see the tall man who makes it look so easy, but I know it's not
I think he's looking for a friend to make his mate but that's not what he got
He can have it for sure and I think he's treading the path in the right direction
I'm not making vague references to myself, to make a correction

I have never dreamed much of getting married for life
I have only gone from one point to the next like I might get cut by a knife
Your amber eyes are spies to me
And in the end I will finally flee

The only opening where the purple agenda is true
Is not with the one I could ever outdo
I'm wrapped in Indian braided hair
And I only compare to the vast wide open tear

Please bring me a tonic made of rose petals and water
Wash me in salts and anoint me in oils when I grow hotter
But leave me in fabric burnished with quicksilver
A pill in my reach, an arrow in my quiver

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