When you asked me to please leave
I felt like a part of me died
I had to pull myself away
And not to understand at all
I don't understand my life



When I set my good intentions
I feel like life immediately checks me
Can confusion vibrate to the bone?
My amelioration is so total
I do not know where I begin



I know my past, but don't dare to repeat it
I feel a deep pain mixed in with my love
There's a part of me begging to go
And there's a part of me that has no hope
And anger and disappointment and fear



And maybe I am right about a few things
And dust deflowers me
And people hate me for existing
And they are enraged I can die
And I do not love all of that



In fact on the surface of my face
There is a calm which doesn't exist inside
To pour the poison out I have to be alone
To take the poison in I need only breath
I thought someone said war



As an artist I use war for ugly creations
And as long as I have hands I will write
Even without instruments I can mark
My mind with thought
Etched into one of my fixations



And to all of you who lived with me
It was always I who lived with you
And I remember the totality
And the lack of hesitation
And to stare as the castles fall



I have holes in my back
What kind of material am I made of?
I heard Lady Gaga is made of plastic.
I have ideas
People don't like



This was going to be about my hatred inside
Actually it was going to be about desolation Angels
If I come willingly may I be guaranteed last place?