I started talking to my children tonight.
I told them what to watch out for.
"Don't talk to strangers."
"If anyone makes you feel scared or touches you in a way you don't like: tell me or your father."
It's hard because I want to tell them everything so they can protect themselves.
I know they'll either be most at risk when they're without us or if we're the ones to fail them.
You can't tell a three year old certain things.
I want to be with my children all the time and when they're adults to know they're okay.
I feel like being a parent is one of the hardest challenges possible to take on.
And yet, so many people do it.
I want to tell my two children to trust their instincts.
I want them to be surrounded by a shield of protection made of the strongest material known to man.
My husband is militial.
He folds his underwear and organizes it by style and color.
If I leave the ironing board up he scolds me.
If I forget the laundry in the dryer he makes me wash it again so it's not wrinkled.
I like it that he's strict and organized, because we're always ready.
He keeps me in line and he keeps me sharp.
My friend told me I'm sharp enough.
I think that's what people say to you who wish you were easier to trick.
We live in a house in Calabasas.
It's a two story house with four bedrooms.
My husband and I always slept in the same room with our children when they were babies.
They were in cribs though, because adults roll over sometimes when they sleep.
I was vigilant and maybe a little too anxiety ridden about their welfare.
In the end it was my husband though who I really trusted to protect us.
I knew there were certain things I had to do to be the best mother I could be.
I had to show my selfless side.
Sometimes I had to suffer so they wouldn't.
Or I had to learn to do things a different way, a better way, for them.
Being at home with them made me happy.
Being with my husband made me feel like I was at last in the right place.
It isn't always easy.
In many ways I'm surprised when I talk to my children.
Because it lets me know they're coming.
It's years away, but they're coming toward me.