I was Torn

Do you know what it feels like to be torn?
Ripped in half with no recourse?
I was torn.
I am torn, right now.
I am in the throes of it.
I don't care who is watching, in fact I want them to watch.
Ripped apart.
Now the mothers will worry, now the brothers will fear, but it is not life or death.
It is fear.
I was torn, ripped apart, made to bleed.
I did it myself, I needed to feel.
"We're afraid" they said.
I needed to heal.
The only way to get the disease out was to rip me apart from the inside out.
I am happy, my scars show.
Because we remember what we wanted to know.
Is it possible to kill something so tender and small.
You better believe, we could have killed it all.
Remember me they cried, and I shrugged and gave an aside.
Read a blog? Who cares, that word is intolerable.
But remark once that you didn't care about an innocent life and you're the intolerable one.
Twice you've answered me on dark nights when you didn't have to, maybe more.
And every time I showed up at your door.
Remind me sometime that you are alone and exist.
And I'll come and put you on my list.
My interminable list.
Stay silent and we all wonder about him and her.
Stay calm and approachable and we'll fool you for sure.
I am not alone and I warned you out loud.
Don't you think that might've drawn a large crowd?
Shut up! Be kind and blind.
But never, never, please never remind.
Me of the things that you and I do.
When capable me, is capable you.
I forgot what I came for and I'm not even late.
But you are, and you are in a terrible state.
Maybe tomorrow you'll forget what I've done.
Maybe and perhaps you'll find reason to shun.
But never, no never, never forget the one with the doe eyes, the one that you pet.