No Matter What

No matter what I say or do you all feel insecure about me.
And when you make me feel insecure I take it as a challenge.
Remind me not to call you.
Reminding myself of the fallible, I conjecture on the terms.
I love you more than I want to too fast and get treated like a prize.

Forget anything for the star.
This is not an insinuation.
I am no star although when you possess me you think you are.
Or perhaps the sweet potato in the oven is what we're all looking for.
And you smiled, making me the charm again.

Finally I get the point.
I may write from time to time, but my mouth should stay shut.
And the longer my silences the more desperate you become.
Peers think of things to say in the meantime.
And I am finally caught like a kite in the wind.

Lana del Rey tell me more tales in your heroin and alcohol laced voice.
I'll never tire of your drug addled fame.
Nor will I point the finger.
I remember sitting in an L.A. apartment smoking crack.
Or several and I don't regret it.

Just so everyone is one the same page...my mother is reading this.
And I wouldn't say anything here that my own mother couldn't see and read.
Why? Because I am too honest.
That doesn't mean I don't like.
I'm just a girl.

Don't cry or lie about it.
This is what makes us girls.
Forget where you are from.
Forget your past.
And remember the world.

The world is fabulous.
The people who have experienced it are fabulous.
And fabulous does not only mean gay.
But if you are a transgender reading this.
Remember you are the world, you are standing for something that changed us all.

Down the silent, dark streets I ran and twirled.
And you loved me.
I am still her.
Do not forget me.
Because, maybe, you might just realize how close I am to gone now...don't worry mother...it's just an analogy to part of me leaving and perhaps never returning.