Saturday, September 27, 2014

It is NOT an unreasonable excuse...

     Two guys are going through the audio files of a young woman's phone calls.
     "There, I think it's this one."
     "Nooo, I remember it was around the time we got Charlie to review the calls for us when we were busy."
     They both stop like they reached a dead end.
     "There are hundreds of hours of audio between R and C. This is going to take some time."
     "What I want to know is DID R tell C to either use all contractions or not use them at all?"
     "You mean outside of dialogue?"
     "Who cares about the dialogue! Are we really being this fanatical?"
     "Look she saw us talking about whether or not she should be editing it that way. Did she KNOW from the beginning and this was just an excuse to slow us down?"
     "You don't have to spell it out for me like I'm an idiot! I know why we're doing this!!"
     "Now you're wasting my time talking about this."
     "You brought it up."
     "You know better than to question my authority."
     "Ok, ok, so maybe it was this clip..."
     "If we can generate some point of reference we'll have a better chance of figuring out what day it was on."
     "So, R just went to New York, so it HAD to be before that, which was this last Wednesday."
     "I feel like it might have been before she went camping, or when she was in Telluride."
     "We're going to spend more time looking for the file than she is going to spend going over all the edits she made."
     "Good." They both smile.
     "Just do this right. Tell Josh someone misinformed her and now she HAS to "revise" (don't say edit) the whole book."
     "The WHOLE book?"
     "Yeah, because...ok...really? Do I have to spell this out for you?"
     "Oh, because we want to buy some extra time?"
     "Exactly, we make it seem like she's bogged down through no fault of her own, and we've got to find out WHO gave her the misinformation."
     "Okay, but do we lay it on R even if she misheard what he said?"
     "Tempting, but that scenario doesn't work, because remember this guy is totally naive. He has no idea what's going on and we don't want to give him more leverage than he already has. This is ridiculous."
     "Honestly, that brings up that point. What are we doing? Are you thinking this through...the R situation?"
     "All we have to do is distract her with Joe. Did you see how she reacted to him? I was almost jealous."
     "I almost feel better leaving her with R babysitting."
     "Dude, we've been focusing on this for long enough. Do you even realize what it would look like from an outsiders perspective?"
     "Either like we're friends but we're both pussy whipped by the same woman and the weirdest part is we're okay with it. Or like we have some agenda in which we profit from the hard work she's been doing."
     "Or both."
     "Anyway, let's find the file. We can just turn the audio on and listen to the entire thing from one month ago until now."
     "It'll take us under twenty-four hours, because we know it wasn't in the last week."
     "We'll need juice, sandwiches, and porn."
     "We have the porn. Call Kyle and get him to make a grocery run."

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