This isn't going to be about chess so don't get too excited, yet.
I was going to drone on about some invisible man who listens in.
But instead I'm going to check the mate.
How about all you boys and men out there?
The ones I've had and loved.
What happened to you? Was it me?
If that's what happens to men who love me then why bother?
Seriously silly boys.
She, and that means me, is definitely a man eater.
Everyone else should run if they see me.
Head for the hills.
I've got more fucked up people than I have pills.
And trust me that's no exaggeration.
Can you all stand the love I am throwing your way right now?
Can you stand it boys?
Because you are all babies you boys I loved.
This is not about me, it's all about you.
It's about how hard you try to hang on when it's gone, baby, gone.
I was done with you when I met you.
Why? Because I had you all figured out.
Did you ever understand me?
Thought you did, didn't you?
Maybe ya did and that's why I am sitting here.
Sitting not standing, not my favorite position.
I wanna stand and run, never sit or cry or fall.
Actually falling is great.
Impact even, God the pain can be just right.
Right on time!
Hey! Women! Female friends...where are you hiding?
There was only one woman I knew once who even tried.
Been a while since I saw her breathing like a normal human being.
I was about to relent and give up, but in all honesty I don't have much time now.
I have a painting to finish and it's going to diminish me in a big way.
That's all I can say, it's going to end the threat I was under.
The threat? Isn't that what you wanted, needed, had to have?
Yes, I had to have the threat. I had to have a big death threat. The art. The art.
I had to have a number placed on my life.
I was living in danger trying to survive.
That's the Sagittarius in me.
He shot the artwork through my heart and now I have a place in a part.
A place in a part of hair.
In the underground lair.
I am at the bottom of the ocean.
So, try, please threaten me I don't care!
I am real, if not all human.
Please God don't make me say more.
I am certifiable in an extremely expensive way.
So what can I buy time with when I have no money?
I can't, I cannot, I will not buy any more time.
Oh please, I was broken a long time ago.
Your obsessions are honestly killing me.
If you, if you need me you know what to do.
Just feel your heart beating and you'll know I am there with you.
Let me go! Your acts are no longer justifiable...they are all circumvented.
I have no need to intervene myself.
I have a circle of friends all around me.
And every single one wants to get close to me.
But none of them can.
They are close, but I am untouchable.
I can't land!
I'm sailing a ship straight for hell.
If Hollywood is hell where am I going?
If you are lost and now I am free when was I lost?
There is a vast expanse of death all around me.
Too many eyes have taken me in.
But I was there too!
My eyes bled blue.
Jesus is in love with you.
God you're sick!
I once had a strong, straight whipping stick.
I whipped every one around me with it subconsciously.
And they suffered and I gained.
Now they're wondering why they took the pain.
I once had a long whip that I cracked over other people's backs.
They all hated me and threw me down.
They wished I wasn't beautiful but instead they're dead.
That wasn't a stick and it wasn't a whip.
That was my way of getting them to see.
If you're not running, buying, loving in a very sexual way, or making an amazing play, then you're mostly just losing and will get thrown away.
Oh well, what can I do?
I'm just an imbecile with some outdated equipment, a horse with no shoe.
I'm just a fox who's got nothing to do.
Or a crazy person who never had a clue.
My rhyming isn't even consistent...damn sorry I totally missed it.
Anyway, since today is my unbirthday I thought I would stay.
And surround you with words of nothing you've ever heard the like.
And maybe later I'll spike your drink and take you back to my room.
Where we'll run around like maniacs that no one ever found.
And in the end I was just hoping that the bathtub would be a good place to drown...
When she makes it real thugs really cut to the chase.
Is this a funfest or a race?
I thought it was a race...but who and what are we racing?
We're like groundhogs all out on the wrong day.
I think I can smell my own decay.
This is all wrong. Can we do another take?
I would rather appear cute. modest, and highly opaque.
Hopefully pretty, with a button nose, eyes that glimmer, and perky action in all the right places.
Christ, who taught me this word game?
I'm kind of doubtful about that last remark.
If I have the time I can do this forever.
I've decided that it's my favorite thing to do.
As we dance in circles, just me and you.
Can someone else cut in?
I was hoping you might let another guy have my hand.
Just when I was getting easy I got hard.
I wasn't even expecting that in this game of cards.
I mean chess, how could I forget.
Cause I've been diligently placing all my pieces and you kept taking them away!
What if I knock the whole board over? Then what the fuck will you PLAY?!
The mean one, the naughty one is coming and her name isn't PLATH if you had any doubt.
If you have all secrets now, then tell me one thing.
Add it up and maybe you'll notice that the alphabet has one letter that makes you unsure...it even makes you sick.
What if you missed something before you were around?
Someone who didn't miss you, but got here first. No exclamation point.
I was sitting in a little café the day he stole my heart.
It was only later that I found out about you.
Because I saw his table...the one on which you drew.
I was thinking hard trying to decide whether or not to even take your side.
But even is as even does and evenly spaced letters are all simplified when one is suddenly left out.
A B C E F G...am I making you mad?
Oh, I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry you're so sad.
Or scared rather...in a totally demented way.
Because this entire time you had nothing for me to play.
When you sorted through my e-mails and read through all my mail.
When you checked my body monthly and looked at my icy stare.
You always felt you missed something.
How could anyone ever fool you?
Well, game's over, checkmate for you.